Obama Raging for a Fix
Not my fault . . .
Mr. President, what value is your rage contributing to a solution for stopping up the BP well that is ejaculating very toxic crude oil with abandon, possibly killing one of America’s biggest and most productive estuaries and fishing grounds?
Will your raging and organizational skills bring about a coalition of BP officials, green earth advocates, labor unions, foreign dignitaries’ that hate America, progressive acolytes including your cabinet and get them to set around a table holding high level chats until the problem is solved?
Besides BP, who are experts in the field; yourself, Mr. President? You stated that you have been on the scene and in charge of the crisis since day one, well except for a couple of vacations, 5 hour golf course meetings, basketball therapy and other important matters of state. The demands of office are so, well, damnably inconvenient and all consuming now that you are in office; surely an unanticipated first for any president.
So, what now? Not even your speech writers envisioned this fiasco; the nincompoops.
In lieu of your speech writers teleprompter ready solutions being launched via media sycophants perhaps your lap dawg, Rahm Emanuel reacting from the persuasive force of your wrath will find an opportunity to threaten BP officials, sans clothing of course, from a nearby spa and leak out the home address of those same officials to the SEUI, so that members can bus over to the private homes of BP Officials and demonstrate their collective angst up close and personal. It has been a great tool when used by community organizers in the past.
How are you going to lie this at GW’s feet? Being personally responsible for everything wrong in your world, he is probably to blame for this as well. Or perhaps it’s the fault of that Netanyahu fella, that irascible Israeli leader you snubbed; maybe he had the mossad blow up the well head to embarrass you.
No? Who or what then?
Maybe it is that nonexistent god (big G) you sort of pay attention to that caused this, sure, it is an ‘act of god.’ It has legal precedence. Or worse, shit happens, even to the god (little g) whose face we wash in the morning while our daughter asks if we ‘plugged the hole yet daddy.’
Being intimately familiar with the old adage, ‘if you can’t offer a solution, don’t criticize,’ I offer this idea for consideration in its simplest form. When confronting an irresistible force Mr. President, forget being rigid; be flexible, fluid and willing to bend.
Translated: Use a large fuel bladder (or several of them joined together) with a line up to surface tankers at one end and a coupler on the other end that will go over the pipe to be clinched shut around the well head. The bladder can contain materials until the pumping starts and act as a shock absorber for surging fluids entering into the bladder.
And if that doesn’t work have Iran, North Korea, Russia or some other group use a nuke to blow up the well head and seal it. It has worked for the Russians on several occasions. I did not forget about Chaves or Castro, but it is doubtful that they possess nukes, so . . . meh. This will give you plausible deniability and you can blame the following eco catastrophe on a manmade disaster, giving you an out.
Frankly speaking Mr. President, your raging is as impotent as your political agenda.
Photo credit to: Scooter’s Report.com (More News. Less Facts.)
tlcorbin©all rights reserved 2010
May. 30, 2010 | Unnatural Politics | No Comments
EZ n Life
A guy that I know recently got a letter from his son, EZ, it started out You Asked For It and he then began crying and bemoaning his life; he was a professed Christian and wanted to blame God for all of his troubles. The sad part is that he is in his forties, lacks an education, he is aging, a heavy drinker and difficult to talk with because he has all of the answers. Just ask him, he’ll let you know about that fact within a few minutes of meeting him.
Here is the dad and his response to his son:
Hi Son.
No, nope, huh uh . . . I didn’t ask for it; you did. While you were still here in Juneau, I saw this problem first hand as it was rearing its ugly little head and tried to talk to you about it. You had all of the answers and didn’t want to listen, not to me, not to God, not to anyone . . . you had all of the answers and therefore must know everything. So, I left it alone.
Let me give you some things to think over:
- God gave you everything you need to be happy, loved, employed and content – it’s inside of you and hasn’t mysteriously gone away. More than likely you pushed it aside in favor of your own thinking; God won’t contend (fight) with you when matters of free will are involved. You can send yourself to or through hell if you really want to do so. It is, after all, your right to make that choice.
- I don’t recall God sending you an email or making a telephone call to you, pleading for you to proselytize his son’s teachings while in a drunken stupor; fortunately, he has a sense of humor and compassion for his wayward children and didn’t opt to squish you like a bug while you mocked him with your behavior. By the way, how successful have you been, going in to a bar, getting shit faced within 10 minutes and preaching to a woman with such elegance that a relationship was developed?
- We don’t live in the wild west any longer; confidence (from being independent and employed), good manners, a well groomed appearance (the daily shower, shave, a spritz of cologne, casual dress clothes and real shoes) along with a willingness to listen are the things that will help you win the attention of a woman and some time with her. (Note: this even works with people you want to impress, like new customers, employers or potential friends.)
- Don’t bother trying for the “hood” look, it won’t work with a woman of quality; loose the sweatpants, t-shirts, sneakers, 3 day old beard, the unbathed body stench and the, “it’s my way or the highway,” or the “it’s just the way I am” and the infamous “take it or leave it” attitude(s) when courting a lady, boss or new friend. It’s a waltz, and you need to be dazzling.
- Cordial drinking works this way; never power slug the booze, one drink an hour is max (quit after 4 or don’t start). Why not you ask, it’s simple– if you get lucky and score, it’d be nice to think you will remember it more than puking your guts out at the feet of a porcelain alter. Vomit breath from over drinking isn’t a turn on, especially on a first meeting.
- While spending time with these others, don’t hog the conversation by whining or by sharing only your opinions, your answers about life-your past loves-your everything else, it isn’t something they want to hear about because, surprise, surprise they may be trying to impress you and likely won’t be able to get a word in with a crowbar unless you shut up; and guess what? If they can’t participate and shine in that first meeting they may leave in frustration and not try again-you only get one shot at making a great impression, which is easier to do if your are quick to listen and slow to speak.
- Let your humor shine through when the time is right, smile often, always listen, and be relaxed ~ it’ll make you approachable.
- Remember, if this works with only one out of ten people, when you’ve met a hundred you could have 10 keepers. Remain open to new relationships and new situations, or risk missing out on a treasure if you clam up.
- Bare in mind that you can’t buy friends, and real friends will like you in spite of your property or lack of it; that holds true with a possible life mate as well.
- Finally, we can all learn at a pace that works for us and we should do something every day to improve ourselves intellectually; but most of all, don’t hate yourself for short comings, most folks won’t notice your short comings unless you stuff them in their face. You are a specific creation and unique to the world, there is no one else like you; there is only a single copy of you. Don’t throw it away or disrespect it, it’s precious.
Dad
So, there you have it, a father’s advise to his son, whatcha think, not enough? To religious? Much to much or just to damn hokey for belief? Well, c’mon, let’s hear it.
Ya know I raised you right boy! 
Now, light up and listen, yeah, suck down them suds like a big boy, the lord may be speaking through me tonight and we both got things to say.
. . . ouch son, yer to young to skull crush that can.
Now, where was I . . . oh, yeah an don’t tell mom that you’ve started chasing skirts, she ain’t gonna go for that at all! Smoking is bad ’nuff for her.
Women is funny that way . . . so, where could I possibly go wrong raising you?
This shits EZ . . . lets hear it from EZ, aaahhhh.
Meh, mebbe dad ain’t really gotta clue, but all we can ever do is try; and so I think I’ll try ‘nother beer n thanks for the life lessons.
Be careful around your kids, they may be listening.
tlcorbin©all rights reserved 2010
