May. 30, 2010 | Unnatural Politics | |

Obama Raging for a Fix

Mr. President, what value is your rage contributing to a solution for stopping up the BP well that is ejaculating very toxic crude oil with abandon, possibly killing one of America’s biggest and most productive estuaries and fishing grounds?

Will your raging and organizational skills bring about a coalition of BP officials, green earth advocates, labor unions, foreign dignitaries’ that hate America, progressive acolytes including your cabinet and get them to set around a table holding high level chats until the problem is solved?

Besides BP, who are experts in the field; yourself, Mr. President?  You stated that you have been on the scene and in charge of the crisis since day one, well except for a couple of vacations, 5 hour golf course meetings, basketball therapy and other important matters of state.  The demands of office are so, well, damnably inconvenient and all consuming now that you are in office; surely an unanticipated first for any president.

So, what now?  Not even your speech writers envisioned this fiasco; the nincompoops.

In lieu of your speech writers teleprompter ready solutions being launched via media sycophants perhaps your lap dawg, Rahm Emanuel reacting from the persuasive force of your wrath will find an opportunity to threaten BP officials, sans clothing of course, from a nearby spa and leak out the home address of those same officials to the SEUI, so that members can bus over to the private homes of BP Officials and demonstrate their collective angst up close and personal.  It has been a great tool when used by community organizers in the past.

How are you going to lie this at GW’s feet?  Being personally responsible for everything wrong in your world, he is probably to blame for this as well.  Or perhaps it’s the fault of that Netanyahu fella, that irascible Israeli leader you snubbed; maybe he had the mossad blow up the well head to embarrass you.

No?  Who or what then?

Maybe it is that nonexistent god (big G) you sort of pay attention to that caused this, sure, it is an ‘act of god.’  It has legal precedence.  Or worse, shit happens, even to the god (little g) whose face we wash in the morning while our daughter asks if we ‘plugged the hole yet daddy.’

Being intimately familiar with the old adage, ‘if you can’t offer a solution, don’t criticize,’ I offer this idea for consideration in its simplest form.  When confronting an irresistible force Mr. President, forget being rigid; be flexible, fluid and willing to bend.

Translated:  Use a large fuel bladder (or several of them joined together) with a line up to surface tankers at one end and a coupler on the other end that will go over the pipe to be clinched shut around the well head.  The bladder can contain materials until the pumping starts and act as a shock absorber for surging fluids entering into the bladder.

And if that doesn’t work have Iran, North Korea, Russia or some other group use a nuke to blow up the well head and seal it.  It has worked for the Russians on several occasions.  I did not forget about Chaves or Castro, but it is doubtful that they possess nukes, so  . . . meh.  This will give you plausible deniability and you can blame the following eco catastrophe on a manmade disaster, giving you an out.

Frankly speaking Mr. President, your raging is as impotent as your political agenda.

Photo credit to:  Scooter’s Report.com  (More News. Less Facts.)

tlcorbin©all rights reserved 2010

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